When to Come Back (a duet) by KZBPascual

Here's another song I wrote. I was inspired by Wong Kar-Wai's "In the Mood for Love", especially the movie's opening:

"It is a restless moment. She has kept her head lowered, for him to come closer. But he couldn't, for lack of courage, she turns and walks away."

Please comment! :)

When to Come Back

By KZBPascual

finished February 19, 2011

(Girl)

Before you left, you promised—

you said, “upon my return

“I’ll bring with me what you and I seek.

And I have to look for it alone, for now”—

But do you know exactly how?

While you’re away, every day I wished

for you and I to once more speak.

Refrain

And even if there’s no guarantee

once again, I’ll take another risk:

I’ll step aside, leaving you be.

Chorus

You see, time always sets us apart

and it has yet to bring us together.

There’s nothing else to do but wait—

wait ‘til we both gain more faith

to stand the tests of time

and hold our ground until they’re over.

(Boy)

Trust me when I say that I will be back.

There are just things I have to think of

and some things I need to look for.

I just need you to believe in my promise.

I’d rather let go of something else than this.

But you can’t suffer for what I lack,

I couldn’t burden you anymore.

Refrain

And even if there’s no guarantee

once again, I’ll take another risk:

I’ll step aside, leaving you be.

Chorus

You see, time always sets us apart

and it has yet to bring us together.

There’s nothing else to do but wait—

wait ‘til we both gain more faith

to stand the tests of time

and hold our ground until they’re over.

Bridge (Simultaneous B&G)

I don’t want you to be in pain (Your leaving brought me so much pain.)

But please wait ‘til I come back. (I don’t know when you’d be back.)

When I return, I promise to make up; (I’m restraining myself from giving up)

I just have to better myself.  (but I have to think of myself.)

I’m sorry if I had to go. (I’m sorry, but I have to go.)

Chorus 2(B&G)

You see, time always sets us apart

and it has yet to bring us together.

There’s nothing else to do but wait—  (Sorry, I could no longer wait—)

wait ‘til we both gain more faith

to stand the tests of time

and hold our ground until they’re over.

FIN

Another Lesson Learned

Remember the ‘Am I Insecure?’ post I’ve had? Well, I kind of have to make up for that. Earlier this day, my sister-friend (who was codenamed Friend A) was checking her blogger account and I told her to add me up.  

 As she was scrolling down across my blog, she asked me what my blog’s about. I then told her that it’s mostly about me ranting about Green. Until she came across the aforementioned blog post, she skimmed through it and I told her what that post was about. I told her that I wrote that because I was mad at her for not telling me what she should’ve told me.

She explained and I listened. She said that the reason why she didn’t tell me then was because at that time, she has yet to find the words to use to tell me. Apparently, her mom also did NOT say that I was singing like that because I was insecure and that I had to feel appreciated.

What lesson did I learn this day? Confirm everything first before posting/saying anything lest you wish to hurt your sister-friend.

P.S.

Jiejie, sorry for posting ‘Am I Insecure?’. Always remember that no matter what happens, no matter how many times we bicker or quarrel, I will never leave you. ‘Kay? And you do not have to hide anything from me—no matter how mad or sad that something would make me.  Love you!

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Am I Insecure?

For the first time in my life, I was told that I’m insecure. By whom? By a sister-friend who claims that she knows me. My reaction? ‘Oh-no-you-didn’t’ face (how could you blame me?).

Yes, I was told by a sister-friend (codename: Friend A), recently, that I was insecure. She said that I always have to feel appreciated and loved. But who doesn’t? Who doesn’t want to be seen that you’re worth something? And who, in this world, doesn’t want to feel loved?

I want to say that never in my life have I felt insecure. Yes, that’s true. You may say that I’m a fake for saying that but that’s the truth. I have never felt the need to prove myself to people. I have always felt secure—I guess it’s because I know that I can do a lot of things and that’s where my confidence roots. As a matter of fact, when I told another sister-friend (codename: Friend B) that I was told that, she was also shocked and she said that I’m one of the most secure and most stable persons she has ever met. She said that she thinks that I’m not insecure—and I think so too. To tell you all the truth, I didn’t even know that I could ever be one. Why, you ask? Well, to put it simply, I believe that the concept of insecurity does not exist in my world. Thank God for my parents raising me in such a way that insecurity is blocked out from my universe.

Friend B then told me that Friend A once told her mom about me, saying that I was too happy and too confident to be singing for people because I know that I’m good and all that. And surprisingly, the mom told Friend A that the reason why I’m like that is because I’m insecure. Sadly, as Friend B put it, Friend A believes so. You know what else? Friend A told Friend B that she’s never gonna let me know about this. Double ouch, right? First, I was told that I was insecure and second, knowing that Friend A would keep a serious idea like that from me and she believes that idea.

Going back to that very time when Friend A told me that I was insecure, she also brought up my singing. She said that I’m always too conscious of how I’d look on stage and if my voice would sound great. I didn’t combat her with words but  here was my internal monologue: ‘I’m a performer. My entire body faces people and nothing physical is being hidden from them. Duh, I HAVE to look good. You have to remember that you are singing before a crowd, not just to yourself. People actually watch you sing. When you squint, they see it. When you pick your nose, they’d see it. Trip on stage, they’d witness it. That’s why show business is called SHOW business—because you SHOW everything. And with the voice, I’m a singer and I capitalize on my voice. If my voice wouldn’t sound right, I don’t think I have the right to claim that I’m a singer. Singers are supposed to sound good that’s why they’re mindful of how they sound.’

Seriously, I don’t see how being confident because of the fact that you know that you’re blessed with a lot of talents and being happy to make yourself and your audience happy because of performing for them translates to insecurity. I mean, I perform for performing’s sake. I sing for its own sake. I dance, act, write, host, speak, and create for their own sake, not because I feel the need to be praised because I do them well. I perform because I love to perform—not because I want to hear people tell me what they think of me. The comments are tertiary. What I value more are these: I have fun doing it and that I do it for myself and my audience.

If I really am insecure, then I probably would be doing everything in my power to be the best in everything I do. I have never even joined any workshop or whatsoever that would aid me in improving my talents. Also, if I feel the need to be praised, then I should be someone who’s always using her talents to brag about herself and plant this idea on people: ‘I can do this, I can do that. See how great I am?’ But have those words ever came out from my mouth? NEVER. And have I ever been thinking of them? NO. NOT AT ALL.

Friend A said that she’d kill herself to be like me and to have my talents. Now, that’s insecurity. Do I make her feel that pain because of those wants by bragging or showing her that I can do all of those things and she can’t? NO.

Now tell me, am I a person who’s insecure? 

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